With Your Ghost
by Giselle
Summary: Short angst fic written, which I may decide to write more stories stemmed off of.


Title: With Your Ghost 

Author: Giselle ([yacrusader@hotmail.com][1]) 

Rating: PG 

Summary: This is a short angst fic I wrote, set in the time frame of a little while after Cinderbella, without the confession of. The song in italics is _Ghost_, written by the _Indigo Girls_.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Young Americans and you certainly can't have my Pez collection!

Author's Note: A huge thanks goes out to my Jahammer clan!!! Even the silent readers, lol. Thanks so much to E, P, and Emily for everything, and a very special thanks goes out to M! This is for you guys!!! 

Feedback: Good!!! Empty Mailbox: Bad!!!!! 

  
  
  
  


__There's a letter on the desktop _That I dug out of a drawer _

  
  


I never knew that I could miss someone as much as I miss him. If I pick up just one picture, it's like all sense of time is lost and I wake from my sleepless dream after hours of simply sitting there.

  
  


__The last truce we ever came to 

__From our adolescent wars 

  
  


Sometimes we would get into the most pointless arguments...upset at the smallest of things...and at the end of them, I could never remember just why they began in the first place. 

  
  


__As I start to feel the fever 

__From the warm air through the screen 

  
  


Now I sit here, in his room, staring at a point that doesn't even exist....waiting for the door to open....waiting for him to come back....mad at me for taking off with his shoes... 

  
  


__It come regular like seasons 

__Shadowing my dreams 

  
  


It almost seems pointless to sleep anymore...he's there in my dreams too. Always just far enough away that I can't hear him....can't reach him...but I know it's him..... 

  
  


__Well the Mississippi's mighty 

__And it starts in Minnesota 

  
  


One of the hardest parts of being here....is that I never told him...never let him know that I cared so much about him...because I was afraid. 

  
  


__At a place that you could walk across 

__With five steps down 

  
  


Every little thing has a starting point, you know? That simple moment when everything is just.....right. 

  
  


__And I guess that's how you started 

__Like a pin prick to my heart 

  
  


That's how it was when we first kissed...that one, simple moment that was just...I can't even describe it. 

  
  


__But at this point you rush right through me 

__And I start to drown 

  
  


After that, I knew I could never take it back...that kiss...my heart...It wasn't mine to give anymore. 

  
  


__And there's not enough room in this 

__World for my pain 

  
  


It's still not mine to give....because he never gave it back. 

  
  


__Signals cross and love gets lost 

__As time passed makes it plain 

  
  


Every chance that I had....I couldn't...couldn't tell him...and now... 

  
  


__Of all my demon spirits 

__I need you the most 

  
  


I never will.... 

  
  


__I'm in love with your ghost 

__I'm in love with your ghost 

  
  


I don't know how many times I actually practiced telling him...resolved telling him. But every time I'd try I just...froze. 

  
  


__Dark and dangerous like a secret 

__That was whispered in a hush 

  
  


And my secret stayed with me...only being told in my sleep. 

  
  


__When I wake the things I dreamt about you 

__Last night made me blush 

  
  


He'd catch me daydreaming sometimes...and I could almost swear that he saw right through me. But I'd still wake up...alone.... 

  
  


__When you kiss me like a lover 

__And you sting me like a viper 

  
  


And that one kiss seemed to last forever...so I waited.... 

  
  


__I go follow to the river 

__Play your memory like the Piper 

  
  


Forever..... 

  
  


__And I feel it like a sickness 

__How this love is killing me 

  
  


It's tearing me apart, you know....knowing that he's gone...that he'll never know the truth... 

  
  


__But I'd walk into the fingers 

__Of your fire willingly 

  
  


If he'd asked me about the kiss again....I would have told him. Told him the truth about everything. 

  
  


__Come dance the edge of sanity 

__I've never been this close 

  
  


But he never betrayed our friendship...he never asked me again... 

  
  


____In love with your ghost 

  
  


And now he'll never have the chance to find out... 

  
  


__Unknowing captor 

__Would never know how much you 

  
  


What he really meant to me...How much I loved him. 

  
  


__Pierce my spirit 

__But I can't touch you 

  
  


Because he's gone... 

  
  


__Can you hear it 

__A cry to be free 

  
  


And all I can think about is how I want it all to go away. The hurt, the pain.....the memories. 

  
  


__But I'm forever under 

__Lock and key 

__As you pass through me 

  
  


But they never will... 

  
  


__Now I see your face before me 

__I would launch a thousand ships 

  
  


So I dream alone in his room... 

  
  


__To bring your heart back to my island 

__As the sand beneath me slips 

  
  


Of being with him again... 

  
  


__As I burn up in your presence 

__And I know now how it feels 

  
  


Of watching that crooked, understanding smile that sees right through me... 

  
  


__To be weakened like Achilles 

__With you always at my heels 

  
  


And makes me feel...like someone loves me. 

  
  


__And my bitter pill to swallow 

__Is the silence that I keep 

  
  


But I never told him...and now I can't... 

  
  


__It poisons me, I can't swim free 

__The river is too deep 

  
  


And I feel like it's slowly drowning me... 

  
  


__Though I'm baptized by your touch 

__I am no worse than most 

  
  


So I have no other choice... 

  
  


____In love with your ghost 

  
  


But to leave... 

  
  


__You are 

__Shadowing my dreams 

  
  


And never look back... 

  
  


__In love with your ghost 

__In love with your ghost

~The End~

   [1]: mailto:yacrusader@hotmail.com



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